1. Chatting - this one is a huge irritant. I didn't come to a performance to hear you laugh and joke about something that happened to you or a friend. If you must discuss something wait until the bloody interval, I caught a tweet from Alistair Brammer and another from Eva Noblezada noting someone chatting during their performance of Last Night Of The World this night noting that a couple of audience members had been distracting. I've seen Miss Saigon, this song is a beautiful heart wrenching part of the tale of Chris and Kim, it's the most emotive part of Act one. Not only are you distracting and annoying the performers, you're also ruining the illusion of the show for those around you. People who've paid a lot of money to see the show. Just stop.
2. Phone usage - is that text really so important that you need the whole theatre to look at you all at once? Because that's what's gonna happen. Picture the scene, You're in the fourth row watching Les Miserables and you come to the dramatic climax of Javert's tale, the actor portraying the role is immensely focused stirring the audience with the tragedy of Javert's suicide and just as he reaches the most emotive part of the song a bright light flashes up from the stalls, perhaps even a jaunty irritating tone sounding up too. How on earth actors carry on through this sort of distraction is commendable indeed, I know many a time I've been tempted to rip the phone from the culprits hands.
3. Critiquing cast because it's not whom you want - I've heard this a couple of times towards the back end of last year. Never attend a show purely for the chance to see one actor/actress perform. Theatre is a business that gives chances, matinees often used to give understudies a chance to perform and those in leading roles a day of rest. Don't simply sigh and complain when you get to the show. You never know you might get the chance to see a wonderful up and coming star. Twice last year I saw amazing understudies (Ashley James staring as Enjolras and Emma Hatton as Elphaba) both were absolutely outstanding In their roles. And in time they will be taking the leading roles, look at Emma Hatton, now in the role as the lead deservedly.
4. Snacking - Seriously, must you decide to start munching on the loudest snack possible as the soft melodies of a song start? Come on, there as plenty of time before the show and during the interval to eat if you must.
5. Toilet breaks - Obviously this one is a little more difficult to handle, when you've got to go of course you can't simply cross your legs but in the cases where it isn't a desperate need try and wait for the interval, it's irritating for everyone else in the row to have to get up and down several times during the show because you can't cross your legs for the ten minutes remaining.
6. Photography - No. Probably one of the worst on this list, nobody wants to see the constant flash of your camera as you try to snap shots of the cast on stage. Enjoy the show rather than trying to document random moments.
There are a dozen more that I've not included on this list but the above are just some of the frustrating sights and sounds I've encountered over the last couple of months. If you see this and still continue to do the above then be prepared to be called out by your fellow audience members, maybe even the cast of the show. And rightfully so! You're being immensely rude, respect the show, respect the performers and respect your fellow theatregoers. Rant over.
